Nigel Fox Artworks

After reading a blog referenced in a recent article that someone showed me in the Vancouver Province, Confessions of a 29 Year Old Virgin, I feel the need to talk about someone who is on my heart.  I want to talk about a woman and not just any woman, but one who is my best friend.  I want to talk about my wife, Amy. 

Amy and I have been happily married for about 4 years now and I love her very much.  I believe that she provides all that I need in a woman and that is why I asked her to marry me.  She’s smart, sexy, committed to God, and she’s seen me at my *very* worst and still loves me for who I am.  It’s a tribute to her gracefulness that she is still married to me.

With all of my quirks, it is a bit of a wonder how we even made it past our wedding night.  Ah yes, our wedding night, that fateful night for all newlyweds who have waited to share intimacy together.  This was a night that that we may tell our grandkids about in detail, some day.  Yes, there is a story behind this and one that bears telling in detail.  So, what in the world happened that we would tell our grandkids in detail about, you ask?

Well, a bit of background.   We courted for a very short period in time, about one year, and were engaged for about 2 months after that.  We abstained from any number of things, including even, for about 2 months, touching; all with the intent of saving it for our wedding day.

The wedding came and we were off on our honeymoon.  I had booked us the most expensive hotel that I could find in Toronto, and had booked a massage for my new bride.  We wanted to go and visit family for our honeymoon, in Ontario.  We were going to spend our first night in the best hotel that I could find in the country–according to what I found online (a tip: save your money and ask someone who lives there).

So, here we were, newlyweds, travelling halfway across the country to a stange city in a strange, albeit extravagant, hotel; and not really knowing a thing about sleeping with each other.  Nightfall came and we were EXHAUSTED!

Amy told me later that she barely got to enjoy her massage.  I think that all that we wanted to do that night was sleep.  In an effort to make our wedding night perfect, we totally wore ourselves out.

And that wasn’t all.  Because we knew nothing of each other’s sleep patterns Amy didn’t know a little secret about me.  I sleepwalk–especially when I am exhausted.  For those who aren’t familiar with sleepwalking it often takes the form of a dream to the sleepwalker, where things don’t look like they do awake.

So, instead of intense passion, she got a husband who didn’t even know who she was, let alone that they were married.  And being the chivalrous sort that I was, I didn’t want to be in bed with a strange lady, and so I jumped out of bed with the blankets wrapped around me and blurted out “who are you?”  Amy, by this time was a little worried, when she replied “I’m your wife, we’re married”  To which I replied, “No you’re not, I’m not married!”  By this time, she was in tears and replied “yes we are” and showed me her ring and alluded to my ring.  at which I casually replied, “oh, I guess we’re married”, started humming a tune and went back to bed.  Amy phoned her sister and her brother in-law who knew all about sleep walking and told Amy “don’t wake him”.

All that I remember were bits and pieces and that Amy was in tears when I woke up.  And I asked her what happened and she told me the whole event and couldn’t help but laugh at the innocence of it all, but I felt kind of bad for putting her in that situation and making her cry on our wedding day, in a strange town, with no warning about my nocturnal tendancies. 

We laughed about it and even the parents are starting to laugh about it now, too.

But screw ups happen, no matter what (and sometimes because of) the arrangements you make.  Being graceful doesn’t come from controlling everything; it is sometimes most evident when you make mistakes.  Grace is a necessary part of being graceful…  I consider our wedding night to be one of our best “mistakes” ever and a testimony to God’s grace in our lives.

Now, you may be asking about what this has to do with the “art of purity”?  EVERYTHING!!!  *Only* God’s grace allows for purity of heart and true inspiration.  “Who can climb Mount God?  Who can scale the holy north-face?  Only the clean-handed, only the pure-hearted; Men who won’t cheat, women who won’t seduce.” ps 24:4-5, (The Message)